~Master Feel Sad~

well, it hasn't been the best but it hasn't been the worse..

i guess i learnt a lot these past few days, people i really cared the most, actually felt sad, and partly its due to me.. i dont deny it.. i should have stayed in a distance, and given the space.. that's what important.. what happened did happened when murphy's law kicked in..

but i guess given a chance to go back in time,

i would still advice the same way. cause i am cautious. but yes, its not my place to do it.. i guess i stayed around too long, and should only be there when she needs, rather than all the time, she cant grow the way she wants, if i butt in tooo much...

nevertheless, i still care and love her, and would always pray for her. that's what i should do.. i know its difficult times for her, and there is just too much at hands, just hope she strikes a balance within herself and regains focus to tackle one by one..i would be there if she needs, but that's as far i would go.. need to draw a line, because thats what she wants.. and i still believe in her, her roots are strong, doesnt matter how windy it is, i know she can hurdle it through and grow to be someone she wants, and i'm definitely fucking proud of her..she is still the most amazing person i have ever met..

anyway, i'm very glad i managed to do somethings in this holidays, followed advices of the ol'menon almanac, saying "when you are feeling shitty, stop someone who feels shitty". hahaha.. so yeah that's what i did. shared what i have and i feel much much better of myself.. passion reignited.. looking through the pictures, just makes me feel, i'm really really glad.. and hey, my photography skills are getting better, showed through skype and the person is like can you teach me how to edit. hahaha. just made my day..=))*i used to think people hated the way i edit pictures, i don't give a rat's ass about it anymore*

and the best part is, i felt really good this past few days.. amidst everything, i just felt really good spending time with self, managed to do stuff i been really wanting to do sometimes, having my own little short possible goals, and reaching them was really really a good feeling.. not only that, i found someone who i share all those feelings with.. and gets me all bubbly and excited again. and this is exactly the kind of boost i needed.. and she added with words saying, "hey thanks for keeping me calm, and thanks for making my day" just pushes my confidence higher..

i have to admit, this holidays which at first i thought wouldn't be so good, but actually has been turning out quite well, i never actually felt i was wasting time even when i was gaming, because all those little things like killing russian terrorist or catching a kling and evolving to klang..*seriously what in the blue hell is a klingklang..haha. go pokemon!#hoyeah!*, waking up at 4am just to watch your favourite team get beaten by 30 plus points, but still jumping up your bed and making weird noises when they score, and roomates gave you the "dude its effin 4am look*. i guess all this little things just adding up in making me grow, i feel happier doing stuff again.. things seem to be less crappier, and much more inviting.. makes me feel like i'm healing myself well.. perhaps i should start watching clone wars again, damn, i left that series hanging waaay tooo long.. blooodaay good clone wars.

i'm always intrigued by characters like yoda or mr.miyagi, i mean, i always wanted to be like them, able to differentiate whats right and wrong well, and no matter what stick to principles.. and i'm doing my best, and because of that i couldn't be bothered by a lot of stuff, because they don't seem to matter anymore. and i feel much lighter.. and oh baby yes!!! i been lip-synching, head banging, tongue rolling, to liverevolution undercover 2.. woohoo! jizzzinmypants. hahahahaahaha! that's the way to go. back to old school tmrevolution. hahahaaa! gotta love music i used to love again. hahaha! i feel so pumped up and great, feel like i'm ready to inspire the worlds and save lives!! so gonna buy a batman tshirt when i come hom, perhaps a superman as well.haha!=)) all in all, i know i wrote this post differently than the way i used to, because i wanted it to be different and yesh! i feel different babeh! so if you have a problem with that, i have 2 words for ya!**** **!!!! (i'll buy you an ice cream and apple pie, if you know what it is,clue is "break it down")

gonna go and watch arsenal going wild! go gunners, and go kings! i believe!!!=)))wootsie! going all gun-blazing!