~Red Comet~

RED! SIEG ZEON!!!!!

~blames~

well, i'm not really feeling well recently.. -29 is just too much for me.. haha.. i have no gloves, no hats, no long johns.. nada... just my overcoat and my ts.. in which, its not enough due to the cold cold chilly winds.. and yeah.. i think i'm falling ill.. so popped pills and slept..

in which i had this weirdest dream.. of someone.. ah.. i guess, i still have not really gotten over with... but yeah.. i guess i still care.. and i don't regret that.. cause that's who i am.. well, when i think about it.. i can say.. i was really being an ass getting upset and pissed just due to a phonecall.. guess im not really myself at that time.. i wish at time i could share to people how i am at times.. no 1 knows the truth..

anyway, in my dreams.. i learned something.. an advice which i long forgotten.. (my grandpa always have some weird advices, but yeah).. he said something like.. No one can grow alone, growth only happens when you are in a group of people.. i guess there is some truth in it.. he always told me, not to be a loner if i wanted to achieve my dreams.. you need people regardless of family or friends.. you need support, you need ideas.. and mostly, you need criticisms.. if you are someone who wants to improve others lives, start by yours.. be more open.. well, thats pretty much what he said.. and i guess i haven been following that.. i was toooo hot headed and stubborn to give in.. and i kept making the small things big.. in a way.. i guess i needed those few incidents.. just reminded me.. how i am actually.. i been very positive about it as well.. keeping myself in check at times.. learning to give new priorities to new things.. and im trying my best to start a conversation with my sister.. it nearly a year since i uttered a word to her(even when i was in the same house with her), but yeah.. im putting effort for it...

so does growth really happen when i have people around??

grandpa also said.. it depends what people around you as well.. i mean, if you hanged out with loving compassionate ppl, you turn the same way.. ad if you hanged out with ignorant people you turn the same way.. he said.. both has its goods and bads.. but it always better to meet a variety of them.. learn how to talk, and if you can talk, learn how to accept others views as well..

if you know how to make most of someone's talents, with your own, doesnt that make a success multiplies a few folds.. no one is entirely good, and no one is entirely bad.. respect whoever you meet, as they have came a long way to where they have reached..


i guess, if i want to be a doctor who can make difference in others life.. i guess i have to make a difference in mine.. not just by working and studying for my academically, but my conversations and how i treat others.. 1 thing i really should learn is how to forgive.. though its not my right, but yeah.. sometimes, you just have to forget what you heard and felt, and just carry on.. be more understanding lah mahes.. mmmmmm..

i know all of these, but someone, when the time comes, i get emotional, things go the other way.. i know i dont really get emotional much.. but i feel there is much to learn and much to be done..

and now that, i have realized more and more.. who knows.. 1 day.. that i can be proud of who i have becomed... im a weird guy.. who dont look for other's recognition.. but for myself.. maybe 1 day, when i meet my grandpa in afterlife.. he can be proud of me.. *smiles*..


anyway, i written a song for someone.. hahaha.. i actually written a song.. and i actually erm.. wrote guitar chords for it.. like lame right.. i concocted it out of the blue.. but yeah.. in a weird weird way.. a few said.. it sounds like zombie of cranberries.. aiya.. there are some similarities.. but then.. its my work..

well.. its lame.. and im still working on it.. and im gonna make her smile! after all.. she's been there for me.. this is the least i can do... i played the song without singing the other day.. and i hope she liked it.. its isnt so john mayer or jason mraz.. and its isnt so technically skilled.. but some simple chords strumming..


and.. i have strong urges to eat pasta and sushi... mmmmm.. but yeah.. circumstances.. im glad.. at least i have food for today.. for tomorrow, who knows.....haha.. its all still a mystery..

~valentines~

well, it wasn't the most perfect day of days..
and trust me.. i was beat when i got home..
and my body aching so darn bad..
im so fat.. period...
but yeah.. i ate my fill with food.. and sweets..
because this year..
is not exactly like the other years..

and to be very honest..
its faggy for a guy to say this..
but damn heavens, i feel loved.. hahaha.
weeeeeeee.. and its a good feeling..

im pretty half of the population of men,
are with their lefties and righties,
with a box of tissue..
looking at some really wrong graphics..
just to let some steam off..

so thank you so much for the video..
i appreciate it very much..
it was the most sincerest act that anyone did for me..
and you can really draw..
im still amazed by your talents..
wait for me come back,
cause im gonna sing for you..
i have some hidden talents toooo.. haha!
well, yeap, hopefully we have the time to go on a holiday..
you pick the place and pay for it.. and i will just free load.. hahaha..
anyway, yeah.. go pamper yourself with baskin and robbins..
take rum and raisins with their choco sumthg mix and makan..

and last not least..

lee yen xian
wo hen tou ai ni!*winks*

(ps.. i know the statement is grammatically wrong.. so bite me, and if you dapat pimple... im taking all those back.. wakakaaka.. ^^)

~exodus~

new day, new sem, new subjects..
whoa, time table seems pretty tough..
but yeah, im determined this time..
no more slacking much..
everything is new, but i have not forgotten yesterday,
because yesterday, makes my today, today makes my tomorrow..
valuable lessons are learnt..
thats why experience is the best teacher..
to be honest, im a little sad that im not the man i thought i was..
but nevertheless, i will be the man that i want to become in the long run..

hopefully things go way well.. its 7am.. weeee..
and im about to start another new step closer to my dreams..


excited!!