this is getting even weirder.. i'm miserably happy.... i dont know how else i can describe.. just that, i finally achieved what i have been hoping for since end of spm.. just that, i cant seem to be happy about it.. after so long.. and gone through so much.. and now its here.. in my hands.. but, im just not contented at all.. for some reason i cant make people around me happy as well.... dang! i thought this is what i actually wanted since ages ago... perhaps due to a lot of sad things have been happening to the people around me lately?..
i made another huge blunder again.. the same 1.. its like.. im repeating it again and again.. hmmm. when will i learn from it!?!?!?*pffft*.. i cant break again due to this.. i need to face it.. if that is fate.. then so let it be.. i cant do no more.. i sowed the seed, and tried my best for it to sprout, and if the seed refuses to sprout with me, let it be with someone else which it will grow strong and beautiful.. at least its willing to sprout then..
and i just watched heart break kid's swansong match.. really broke my heart.. i mean.. i grew watching him, until today.. when he retired.. will definitely miss the sweet chin music and all..
last sunday was major improvement.. can do a bit better next time.. must muster more courage and confidence.. yup.. yup.. am so nailing this.... who knows if i got lucky.. *grins*
ooyiru poone maari yirukinu.. ye yende manase mansala akenu ila??
practice! practice!
^^
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