~Indian Songs~

well, to sum up my week, yes i've been slashed by an angry dude with a kitchen knife, lost my glasses, didn't do so well for exam, but towards the end, i did kind ahad a good day for deepavalli.

for a first in a very long time, i suppose, well, erm, i did feel butterflies and a bit *ohmygodohmygod* when she said she would love to come for the event, and so, the day came, ironed my jippa, *couldn't find the pants, so i wore slacks, and you know what, it had pockets and i loved my pockets*

anyways, she came with her simple dress, we met in metro, i was in my jippa, we went, we talked, we laughed, she leaned on me during the pictures, *i hate when they smell good, somehow i'm very enticed by them for days*.. and thats effing depressing..

anyways, we ate, and couldn't get into the hall, so we decided to bail, and go to starbucks, had a cup together, talked, and went home, messaged each other, and i told her i wanted to sleep *but in reality, i just wanted to have time on my own*..

anyways, it did kinda go well, so i'm grateful to god in a way, the cut could've been worse, the glasses was the least of the worries, and the bad things would have happened on the celebration, but everything did happen the best it could, so yeah, pretty much big guy up there toook everything, and little debris hit on me, *im strong enough to brush them away*, its never going to slow me down.

1 thing i should be doing is my extra studies, i really need to work hard again. hopefully i can get back my momentum.

and i miss mum, dad, px, sis, family, close friends, and home, next year probably will be the last deepavalli here, and after that probably i can be around home. and its going to be great.

i'm grateful honestly=)

~Undying days~

well, the past week was more than not maybe a little hitting on the lower end. i did succumb in doing it again, which i really try my best not to.. but.. i guess the "L" bug just destroys whatever will i have..

nevertheless, a single comforting thing comes from a teacher, whom i first had thoughts as bitchy.(meh.. my senses are so haywired). anyways, so called that she could see you through and read futures(senior's words).. the moment she touched me, she went "oooh, i don't know whether you believe in angels, but there is an angel looking out for you", and the first thought was the moon. Sue me. well, yeah. i like to think that the moon looks out for me. i just feel good when its around. childish thought but.. i suppose it does make me feel good.. and she said a bunch of other stuff.. probably, could mean anything.

i guess i'm still in the recovery period. i will get better and i need to work harder. there is so much i can drown for. sometimes i do wonder, am i like dust, till its too easy to forget me. i guess so.. i can only be me. but no one else.. i did wish things were different, but, i know it is what it is. and i can't look back, not anymore.

which comes to the kings. i did enjoy the game honestly, cross my heart. i saw them play and i felt really good, that few minutes, everyone was clicking and when jimmer hit the trey. i was like "if you don't like that, you don't like kings basketball", anyways, optimistic is the word to go for the kings this season. i really hope for the future

and finally, i saw random quotes of the doctor today.. which made me feel, a little cheerful to be honest, so here i am gonna share with you=))

the link is here=)) http://imgur.com/a/0o9fj

~Updatetomundo~

I’m not running away. But this is one corner of one country on one continent on one planet that’s a corner of a galaxy that’s a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying and never remaining the same for a single millisecond, and there is so much, so much, to see. Because it goes so fast. I’m not running away from things, I am running to them. Before they flare and fade forever. And it’s alright. Our lives won’t run the same. They can’t. One day, soon, maybe, you’ll stop. I’ve known for a while..

well, i wrote a crazy long message today. like crazy long. haha. now i feel silly cause i don't think the person would reply. ah wells. see how it goess.

I want to be inspired further and work harder, but i just seem to lose track of things.. i don't know how things going to turn out in the future, but i'm glad that i'm me.i know its sounds a little bit cocky, but i think i'm pretty awesome=)) so yeah. keep moving and moving, and yes things just went up a gear. everything moving fast, but i'm moving faster, as though a huge weight is off me. maybe it is? i don't know. i just know i want to read, i want to play, i want to go out, and i wanna eat sweet stuff all day.. and today am gonna cook something neat=))

today's plan is early dinner, resident evil while i'm eating, some gaming if there's time, but i want to read and read and read, or watch some educational stuff. need a little dicipline and all. but i realised now, i need to inspire myself most the times, i guess thats why i love doctorwho =))

~ThetaSigma~

Gallifrey- where thetasigma stole a magic box, changed his name and travelled the stars and cascades of burning constellations. weeeee! another episode today and the return of unit. can't wait for that to be honest. i hope unit will so asghkkllll. and the doctor goes cuckoo.

anyways, i really need to start getting up to another gear again, and work harder. kind of slacked off the whole week. and everything slowed down. and played loads of dota and watching angel as well. things are looking brighter ahead. yes there were periods where i missed a number of girls in my life. but we'll just leave it that as that. i think its better i move on than all of them. memories of them just going sad. and i don't like that. shall keep them nicely in a box

and ooh! i have a new girlfie, her name is alleria(lyralei), windrunnerrrr!!!!! i'm still learning to play her sort of a thing, and the record matchups are looking bleak, but seriously she is pretty darn goood=)) only my rhasta haven't lost a game yet, and barathrum and alleria lost a few times more than wins. in any case. meh. i don't really care of the records much.

today at the school stadium, they are having the sports exhibition, and i was asked to play badminton, with trick shots.. you know when you force yourself to do trick shots, it doesn't actually works. shall see how it goes, supposed to go there later, with sasha. see if anyone is there, want to ask them record some stuff. need to have some videos before my legs really gives way.

plans for studies, finish up kumars on haemotology, and then really read up paed's. i think its nelsons, not sure. ah wells. see how it goesss. need to work and less dota. i wanna be better, not just good, i wanna be the best there is, and its not easy, but im gonna be willing for it=))

~Seamless~

The thing is, this morning i just woke up with a thought, perhaps some corner in my mind you still exist. funny thing is i know how good of a friend i am to you. i came back for sometime, yet you never contacted or tried to look for me. honestly i'm not sad or feel anything about it. but just felt a little pity. pity that i actually thought i was your close friend, or so you claim, but seeing how is it now, when you don't even look for me or anything. haha. just explains everything. i'm glad this saga between us is over. and i told myself i won't let anyone, especially you, to make sacrifices anymore. funny thing. this time i never missed you at all. this is how much i changed.

anyways, i regretted doing certain things, and i'm glad i managed to put to a stop. i need to focus and focus. things will get better and i need to step and man up to it.

and the last thing. the most important thing. god bless fooodddd!=)))) i'm so happy ate so much lately. and i'm feeling so gooodddd=))))

~Ripped~

there was I again, back in home, walked around town, i'm doing well, until i walked into a familiar book store in a mall nearby where memories of the year bfore rushed into me the smell of ink on paper, and the coldness of the floor, reminded me how much that those memories were made.. im definitely not going to live on those memories anymore.. though i replied her messages, but.. yeah.. i think i need to let go for good. not because of anything, because of i feel i deserve better.. after everything. it has come to that.. that i wont bend anymore, and take hits. i will keep myself happy, and thats a promise=))

Moon

Glorious times to write once again. funny thing is that it's been sometimes since i felt like writing. i know my writings are quite weird and not reader friendly. owh wells. i never try to polish my words or something. i guess thats my fault.

on the good note, i'm ending the 4th year with a few more classes and 2 more exams, before i'm bound for my well-deserved summer break(one can argue whether its well deserved), anyways, yeap everything is coming to and end, will be starting 5th year in a couple of months, before the long stretch in the final year, before i call myself, Menon.MD, haha!=))

well, this year must be a year of revelations, there were periods i'm very proud of, and definitely periods i could say, catastrophic, yes i did lost a great deal compared to what i have achieved, it might look that i lost a little too much, but then again, i think i redeemed myself. and that's important. my goals, my views, my feelings, my ideas, my ideals, haven't been reinforced in years. i feel i know what i should be doing, and just needto find the right ways to do it.

a couple of months ago, dad, said a lot of things.. to shorten it, he said, like the reigns of my life, is given to me, i am to ride it as i please, no one is going to say anything now, basically he is acknowledging me that i could do what i want.. funny thing, a few months later, i called him and told him that i needed guidance still.. i'm still far from what you want to say ready for life. hahaha. i'm no where ready. i'm better than last year but i still feel still much to learn, still needs a bit more seasoning, if you want the broth to really be good. so yeah. it's better i learn like this.

in terms of friendship, i guess i learnt a lot of things, but i am not wronged or ridden with guilt in my decisions, and the person did ask why i am so different than what i was told.. i am the same person, my loyalty is still there for those who are loyal to me, once you when overboard with disrespectfulness, and i felt really uncomfortable with it, i did try to talk to you but you were just being difficult about it. so yeah, my wrong or your wrong , it doesnt matter, what matters i dont feel like thrash anymore, sue me if i dont feel good when i talk to you. but i'm not gonna put up with that, and hang around, it's doing me no good. so anyways life goes on. i learnt who are my friends and family, and just maintain with that. and i am grateful, honestly, because there are many whom i can call as friends=)))

anyways, in terms of studies, i am a bit dissapointed, i guess i didn't work as hard enough as i hoped, a little too much distractions and all sorts. was it worth it? i don't know, but hey it's not too late, i can and will have to work harder now to compensate and to get myself better, i am not going to give up, and to start i need to start soon. curb my vices, be more diciplined, and more better. time to man up!

these last few years i'm calling them, the "crunch" years, this is what i am gonna be when i graduate and work, and turn out to be. so yeah. i have to be something and do something. i need to be master of my ship, and captain of my soul=)))